Duke Nukem Wiki

This is a complete list of quotes spoken by Duke Nukem across various editions of Duke Nukem 3D:

  • Aahhh... much better. (upon urinating)
  • After a few days of R&R... I'll be ready for more action!
  • Are you crazy? Is that your problem? (quoting Big Trouble in Little China)
  • Bitchin'!
  • Blow it out your ass! (quoting They Live)
  • Boooorn tooo beee wiiiiiiild... (singing "Born To Be Wild" by Steppenwolf)
  • Come get some! (quoting Ash from Army of Darkness)
  • Come on! (triggered if the player has been idle for too long)
  • Cool!
  • Curiouser and curiouser... (upon discovering the non-Euclidean geometry of the courtyard on High Times)
  • Damn....
  • Damn!
  • Damn it. (upon killing an innocent NPC)
  • Damn, I'm good! (quoting Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls)
  • Damn... I'm looking good! (upon seeing himself in a mirror)
  • Damn, that was annoying! (upon destroying the animatronic mouse on Babe Land)
  • Damn, that's the second time those alien bastards shot up my ride! (upon starting Movie Set)
  • Damn, those alien bastards are gonna pay for shooting up my ride. (start of the L.A. Meltdown episode)
  • Damn, you're ugly. (quoting Predator)
  • Do, or do not. There is no try. (quoting Yoda)
  • Die, you son of a bitch! (after defeating a boss, in reference to Jaws)
  • Eat shit and die.
  • Game over! (part of the ending sequence after completing Shrapnel City)
  • Get back to work, you slacker! (upon seeing an office computer with Duke Nukem 3D on the screen)
  • Get that crap outta here.
  • Go ahead, make my day. (quoting Clint Eastwood's character Dirty Harry in the film Sudden Impact)
  • Gonna rip 'em a new one.
  • Groovy! (quoting Ash from Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn)
  • Guess again, freak show. I'm coming back to town, and the last thing that's gonna go through your mind before you die... is my size-13 boot! (responding to a message from the Cycloid Emperor after defeating the Overlord)
  • Hail to the king, baby! (quoting Ash from Army of Darkness)
  • Harr matey, someone's gonna take a long walk off a short gang plank!
  • Hassan chop! (referencing Ali Baba Bunny)
  • Heh, heh, heh... What a mess! (after an enemy explodes)
  • Hmm, book 'em, Danno! (quoting Steve McGarrett in Hawaii Five-O)
  • Hmm, don't have time to play with myself. (upon examining a Duke Nukem II arcade machine)
  • Hmm, I'm going in!
  • Hmm, looks like I have the conn! (upon entering the Ready Room on Warp Factor)
  • Hmm, my kind of party! I wish I had time! (upon discovering the pornographic actresses on XXX-Stacy)
  • Hmm, that's one doomed space marine. (upon discovering the corpse of the Doomguy from Doom)
  • Holy cow!
  • Holy shit!
  • I ain't afraid of no quake! (riffing on the Ghostbusters tagline, in reference to Quake by id Software)
  • I guess he didn't escape from L.A.! (upon discovering the corpse of Snake Plissken from Escape from L.A.)
  • I like a good cigar...and a bad woman...
  • I should have known those alien maggots booby-trapped this sub.
  • I think I'll climb aboard. (upon discovering the submarine on Death Row)
  • I wish I knew how to quit you. (after defeating the Cycloid Incinerator)
  • I wonder if the Siskova sisters still live here. Mmm... Natasha and Nastya. (making a double entendre from "siski," the Russian word for "boobs," upon entering the apartments on Red Ruckus)
  • I'll be back. (quoting Arnold Schwarzenegger's line from The Terminator)
  • I'll rip your head off and shit down your neck. (riffing on Gunnery Sergeant Hartman's line from Full Metal Jacket, upon confronting the Overlord)
  • I'm back in the USSR, baby! (upon entering the street on Red Ruckus)
  • I'm Duke Nukem, and I'm coming to get the rest of you alien bastards! (after defeating the Battlelord)
  • I'm getting too old for this shit. (upon starting Alien World Order)
  • I'm gonna get medieval on your asses! (referencing Marsellus Wallace's line from Pulp Fiction)
  • I'm gonna kick your ass, bitch! (upon confronting the Alien Queen)
  • I'm gonna put the smack dab on your ass!
  • I'm gonna roast your nuts over an open fire, you flaming alien bitch. (upon confronting the Cycloid Incinerator)
  • I'm not crying over this! (upon seeing the butchered dolphin on Shop-N-Bag)
  • It's down to you and me, you one-eyed freak! (upon confronting the Cycloid Emperor)
  • It's like déjà vu all over again! (after activating the switch inside the fountain on High Times)
  • It's time to abort your whole freaking species! (after defeating the Alien Queen)
  • It's time to kick ass and chew bubble gum... and I'm all outta gum. (quoting They Live, start of the Shrapnel City episode)
  • Let God sort 'em out! (quoting advice given by the historical figure Arnaud Amalric during the Albigensian Crusade when asked by a crusader how to distinguish the Cathars from the Catholics)
  • Let's rock!
  • Looks like cleanup on Aisle Four.
  • Looks like it's time for me to go postal!
  • Looks like San Francisco is a sanctuary for illegal aliens. (upon starting Golden Carnage)
  • Lucky son of a bitch.
  • Mess with the best, you will die like the rest. (quoting Hackers)
  • Mm. Smells like someone cut the fromage. (upon entering the street on Tour de Nukem)
  • No way I'm eating this shit! (referencing Beavis and Butthead)
  • Nobody jacks with our independence! (upon seeing a spaceship on a monitor at the end of Area 51)
  • Nobody messes with my meat! (upon entering Animal Shelter next to Duke-Burger)
  • Nobody steals our chicks... and lives! (start of the Lunar Apocalypse episode)
  • Now this is a force to be reckoned with! (upon discovering Luke Skywalker's hanging corpse)
  • Ooh, I needed that! (after recovering the player's health from below 25%)
  • Ooh, that's gotta hurt. (in a sarcastic tone after blowing-up an enemy, possibly riffing on a line by Ash in Army of Darkness)
  • Oh...your ass is grass and I've got the weed-whacker.
  • Ready for action.
  • See you in Hell!
  • Shake it, baby! (after handing a girl money)
  • Shit happens. (after stepping in alien feces, referencing a line from Forrest Gump)
  • So help me Duke.
  • Somebody's gonna freaking pay for screwing up my vacation! (at the start of The Birth)
  • Someone's gonna ruin the soufflé. (upon reaching the end of the street on Tour de Nukem)
  • Sometimes I even amaze myself. (quoting Han Solo)
  • Staying alive, staying alive, la. (singing "Stayin' Alive" by the Bee Gees)
  • Suck it down!
  • Terminated! (upon discovering the crushed skeleton of the Terminator)
  • That's gonna leave a mark!
  • The fifth element is always Duke! (upon discovering the mirror on Mirage Barrage)
  • They don't make 'em better than me!
  • This really pisses me off!
  • This is KTIT, K-Tit! Playing the breast- uh, the best tunes in town. (upon interacting with a microphone on Radio Station)
  • Trippy. Next time I have... coffee... I better add some cream and sugar. (upon completing High Times)
  • Ugh, this sucks. (upon dying)
  • We meet again, Doctor Jones! (upon discovering the hanging corpse of Indiana Jones)
  • What? There's only one of you?
  • What are you waitin' for? Christmas? (triggered if the player has been idle for too long)
  • What are you? Some bottom-feeding, scum-sucking algae eater?
  • What we do in life, echoes in eternity. Here's your eternity, you alien bitch! (quoting Gladiator)
  • Where is it?
  • Who wants some? (quoting Ash from Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn)
  • Whoa! That's some good... uh, coffee! (upon inhaling cannabis smoke on High Times)
  • Why so serious... Sam? (upon discovering the corpse of Serious Sam)
  • Woo-hoo!
  • Yeah, piece of cake!
  • Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker! (quoting John McClane from Die Hard)
  • Yo-ho-ho and a bottle of jack!
  • You guys suck!
  • You wanna dance? (after handing a girl money)
  • You're an inspiration for birth control.
  • You're pissing me off!
  • You're the disease, and I'm the cure. (quoting Sylvester Stallone in Cobra)
  • Your face, your ass. What's the difference?
  • "No way. Not possible," they said. But it's true. (upon discovering the alien on High Times)

Video: All quotes with in-game footage


Duke Nukem 3D - All Quotes With In-Game Footage

Duke Nukem 3D
Episodes L.A. MeltdownLunar ApocalypseShrapnel CityThe BirthAlien World Order
Weapons Mighty FootPistolShotgunChaingun CannonRPGPipe BombShrinkerExpanderDevastatorLaser TripbombFreezethrowerIncinerator
Items Access CardsHealth ItemsHolodukeJetpackNight Vision GogglesPortable MedkitProtective BootsScuba GearSteroids
Enemies Assault CaptainAssault CommanderAssault TrooperBattlelord SentryCycloid SentryEnforcerFirefly TrooperOctabrainOverlord SentryPig CopPig Cop TankProtector DroneProtozoid SlimerRecon Patrol VehicleSentry DroneSharkTurret
Bosses BattlelordOverlordCycloid EmperorAlien QueenCycloid Incinerator
Editions ClassicSharewareAtomic Edition (Plutonium PAK)Megaton Edition20th Anniversary World Tour
Expansions Duke AssaultDuke Caribbean: Life's A BeachDuke It Out In D.C.Duke Nukem 3D Level Design HandbookDuke Nukem's Penthouse ParadiseDuke XtremeDuke: Nuclear WinterDuke!ZONEDuke!ZONE 150Duke!ZONE IIUnofficial Expansions
Community High Resolution PackMods & Total ConversionsSource PortsSpeedrunningUser Maps
Other Build EngineCheat CodesDifficultyDuke Nukem (character)MultiplayerMusicPortsPrototypesQuotesScrapped Content